A White Sheet of Cloth, What Will the Pattern Be? 30 November 2008
The world must be coming to an end. These are the words that cross one’s mind when faced with some of the things humans do these days. The boundaries of civility are slowly eroding. Humans no longer exist as Allah’s nobler creation in comparison to animals and Allah’s other creations.
According to SMahadzir in his article entitled “Anthropology in Al-Quran (YADIM website, 22 May 2007), three terms are used to define the basic meaning of humans, these are ‘basyar’, ‘insan’ and ‘al-nas’. ‘Basyar’ provides a reference to humans as a biological being.
The concept of ‘basyar’ normally relates to the biological aspect of humans, such as eating, drinking, sex, and so on. The concept of ‘insan’ on the other hand, explains the uniqueness of mankind as caliphs or bearers of trust, ‘insan’ relates to the negative and positive pre-dispositions that exist in humans and ‘insan’ also relates to the process of mankind’s creation. This means that everything related to ‘insan’ points to mankind’s psychological or spiritual characteristics.
The concept of ‘an-nas’ refers to man’s relationships with each other (hablu minan nas). Al-Quran clearly illustrates how humans interact with each other within their social groups. This shows that al-Quran views mankind as biological, psychological and social beings.
However, today mankind is a fragmented concept. Man’s biological aspects are no longer in line with his psychological one, and also removed from his social context. As such, this creates humans who lack consistency in the values they hold. Identity clashes and crises that are taking place now create a more unstable situation and invite all kinds of conflicts.
How can one methodically promote ‘basyar’, ‘insan’ and ‘al-nas’ when Allah s.w.t Himself has said that mankind is eternally faced with good and bad, in other words, mankind possesses a pre-disposition for the negative and the positive?
In Surah Sajdah it is states: “Allah who makes most excellent everything He creates, and begins the creation of mankind from clay. Then He causes him to be begotten out of the essence of a humble fluid (semen). Then He forms him in accordance with what he is meant to be, and breathes into him His spirit”.
Allah Almighty created mankind as the noblest of creations. The one thing that makes man unique is his ability to think. With this ability, Allah allows mankind to think, consider and decide between what is good and what is bad.
Islam is the most perfect religion which promises paradise to its followers who are pious and faithful to Allah Almighty. The reward for good deeds and the paradise promised to them is easily within reach so long as the Muslim Community adheres to what have been instructed to them and avoid what have been banned.
Nevertheless, this does not guarantee that man will use the ability to think which has been bestowed upon him. Many will fail on their path to reach the promised paradise. How can this be so when Islam is, in fact, quite clear in its message to Muslims when it states that every bad deed has its retribution?
Perhaps we can relate this matter to the incident when Allah Almighty ordered Satan to prostrate before Adam. The devil refused as he felt that Adam, who was created from clay, is less noble than himself, who was created from fire.
Surah A’raf verses 14-16 state: “Satan said: “Give me respite till the day when all shall be raised from the dead.” Allah replied: “Verily, you shall be among those who are granted a respite.” Satan replied: “Now that You have rejected me, I shall most certainly lie in ambush for them all along Your straight Way.”
Considering the revenge and determination shown by the Satan to lead man astray, man needs to realize the role they need to play in living their lives as Allah’s caliphs on earth. Without strong faith, Satan (Iblis) can easily fulfill his vengeance to lead mankind, particularly Muslims, astray.
Educating Human from His Early Development
Very often we hear the saying ‘a child is like a blank sheet of cloth upon whom his parents create the patterns (prints)’. The same goes with old proverbs such as “like father, like son’, ‘the apple does not fall far from the tree’, and so on. These sayings and proverbs clearly illustrate how the way we raise a child and educate him, will determine what sort of person he will be once he becomes older.
Such sayings and proverbs also explains how different types of education that we provide the child with will determine whether or not we will ‘humanize’ them, that is, turn them into good human beings later in life. The term to ‘humanize’ a child requires deep understanding not only from its material aspect, but more importantly, from its mental aspect.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) once said: “Do you know who is impotent?”
His Companions replied: “Those who are impotent are those who are childless.”
To which the Prophet (s.a.w.) replied: “Those who are impotent are those who have many children but none of his children bring him any benefit after he is dead.”
Allah Almighty said in Surah A’raf verse 58 to this effect: “As for the good land, its vegetation comes forth [in abundance] by its Sustainer’s leave, whereas from the bad it comes forth but poorly.”
Recalling the story of Imam Abu Hanifah, a man once asked the father of Imam Abu Hanifah. “Sir, how did you educate Hanafi such that he’s become so special?” Imam Abu Hanifah’s father replied, “I educated Hanafi 40 years before he was even born.”
This means that Imam Hanifah’s father had prepared himself as best as he could so that the child he would have later will inherit his own good values and morals. This should be given serious consideration by parents today who assume that their relationship with their children is mainly biological. In fact, it is more than that.
Delve also into the good advice that Luqman Al-Hakim gave his son while they were embarking on a long journey. Luqman Al-Hakim was a poor slave who had nevertheless educated his son with useful advice, so much so that his advices were mentioned by Allah Almighty in the Quran, and has become part of the valuable knowledge Muslims possess today.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) once said: “Every child is born in the state of fitrah (pure natural created state) but his parents are the ones who make him a Jew, a Christian or a Fire-worshipper.” (Bukhari and Muslim recorded it). An illustration similar to this saying of the Prophet is similar to an old Malay proverb, ‘As the mould, so is the cake’. This means that the responsibility of parents is not limited only to their self-education as parents to become good human beings, but also to educate their children from conception until birth.
Roles of Parents
Every married couples dream of having children, not only to bring joy into their lives, but also to continue their lineage and family tree. Realizing parent’s roles as bearers of trust for such responsibility, they should play their roles well and consistently.
Many books have been written to provide guidelines for parents in the world of parenthood. Right from care during pregnancy, naming children with good names, guidelines on taking care of the child from the time he is born until he becomes a teenager, as well as references to the psychology of parenting to help raise and educate a child.
Not to mention the various workshops and seminars for parents to help them handle conflicts in child-raising. Various mediums, particularly modern technology and inventions, have been created to help parents perform their best in the effort to ‘humanize’ their children.
Al-Quran itself plays an important role in reminding parents of their responsibility to educate their children. The same goes for children’s responsibility towards their parents, as well as relationships with other people.
It is best not to dwell on the carelessness of parents, especially when a child commits a wrongdoing. The Malay saying ‘it is not the mother’s fault in getting pregnant’ is often quoted by parents who fail to educate their children. It is true that it is not the mother’s fault to become pregnant and give birth to a child who then commits a wrongdoing later in life. However, the small mistake and carelessness on the part of parents in raising their children should not be lightly regarded or forgotten so easily.
Among the common carelessness or mistakes on the part of parents include:
1. Not enough prayers or supplication during pregnancy and while raising a child. Many supplications can be used such as the Saidul Istighfar, asking for blessing, asking for good lineage and so on.
2. Providing tarhib (repelling or scary) instead of targhib (enjoining or motivational) education. Normally parents take the easy way out by frightening their children with something scary so that children will listen to what they’re told. Among things that are tarhib used by parents include scaring children with the idea of ghosts, poisonous animals and so on.
3. Not strict in raising children, or in other words, not instilling discipline in children with regards to the rules of religion, especially salat and aurat (compulsory covering of parts of one’s body).
4. Admonishing children using harsh words and humiliating them. Such behavior must be avoided because the words uttered by parents become prayers or supplications for their children.
5. Not providing balanced education in terms of physical, spiritual and intellectual education.
6. Not enough physical contact with children, especially when spending quality time with them, due to parent’s hectic work schedule.
7. Inappropriate attire in front of children. Although parents and their children are related by blood, it is important to observe dressing ethics and maintain the aurats between parents and their children.
8. A family institution in disharmony contributes to an unstable personality in the children.
9. Not monitoring children’s activities. Parents not taking notice of what their children do outside the home, the kinds of shows they watch on television and so on.
10. Passing on the responsibility of raising their children to housemaids when in fact, parents themselves have been tasked by Allah Almighty to take care, raise and educate their children.
Taking into consideration some of this carelessness on the part of parents today, if not remedied, it’s not impossible that we come across news about children’s behavior that seems incomprehensible every day.
Usually, children who grow up in a negative environment will display their true character once in school or when they reach adolescence. It’s not surprising that many criminal incidents involve teenagers. These include teenagers involved in theft, assault, drugs, promiscuous sex, abortion and worst of all, serious crimes such as homicide and so on.
When one comes across such news, one can imagine the external influences that drove these teenagers to become wild and out of control. It is true, external influences are hard to curb. However, as mentioned right from the beginning, our sincerity in playing our roles and performing our responsibilities as parents in educating our children will help them use their minds to decide and accept or reject influences that come their way.
A child is like a white sheet of cloth. His parents are the ones that create the patterns on this cloth. When a child grows up, he will change or add to the pattern that his parents gave him. If the pattern given by his parents from an early age is that of carelessness, then when the child grows older, this pattern of carelessness will lead to losses for the child unless he is wise and can determine his own pattern of life.
Raising a human child does not merely constitute sending him to school. No matter how far or how high an education a child gets, it will not change his bad character that might arise in him if important foundations, such as faith, are not inculcated from an early age. In fact, from the time a child is in the womb, the people around him, particularly his parents, must fashion themselves and their lives with meaningful patterns and behaviors and with strong faith and wisdom. This will give birth to a generation that will bring meaning and benefit to its society and its religion.
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